It’s arguably one of the most critical skills for a trainer to accept the differences among people. Every individual has their own behavioral style, which manifests in reactions to their environment. This style also determines how each person behaves as a seminar participant.
The psychologist Carl Rogers coined the term “unconditional positive regard.” This means that we try to accept people as they are, instead of criticizing them for being different from us. People have their reasons for their behavior. Look for those reasons and answer the question, “What benefit can I derive from this?” Most people wake up in the morning with the desire to behave correctly. There are only a few “terrorists” among them. 90 percent of problematic behaviors can be minimized through good group leadership and training knowledge.
The Trainer’s Role
- Help the problematic participant have a positive experience.
- Minimize the impact on others.
- If necessary, speak with them privately.
Below are some typical difficult behaviors you may encounter among seminar participants.
The Angry Participant
The Angry one is either silent and withdrawn or constantly complains and asks uncomfortable, negative questions. Usually, their resentment is directed towards the world in general, not towards you. What can you do?
- Listen to them without interrupting. Most hostilities can be eliminated by unbiased listening.
- Create an atmosphere where all participants can discuss potential frustrations. Set a time frame for this and stick to it.
- Engage in exercises where participants can vent their frustration positively (List: “Problems we can’t solve here”).
- Talk to them during the break and look for common ground.
The Argumentative Participant
The Argumentative one is constantly disagreeing and aims to embarrass other participants, as well as the facilitator or trainer. How do we handle him?
- Cite research findings and facts, quoting your source. Say, “xy writes in their book …” It becomes harder to argue when evidence is from third parties.
- Turn to the group. For example, say, “Does anyone want to comment on this?”
- Avoid getting into a discussion. Say, “I understand your point of view. Do you think, that…? Can we agree that we have different opinions on this topic?”
- Try to resolve points of contention by, whenever possible, saying, “I agree with you, and it seems the group does too. Does anyone want to say something about this?”
The Clown
The Clown makes inappropriate, disruptive jokes. How can we deal with him?
- Try to ignore their jokes. Continue without acknowledging the contribution.
- Occasionally ask the participant for serious contributions.
- Acknowledge valuable, serious contributions.
- Say, “I don’t think I understood your joke. Could you explain what you mean?”
- Talk to them privately and ask them to treat the topic with the necessary seriousness.
The Complainer
The Complainer masterfully blames others, criticizes, complains, and finds fault in trivial matters. When dealing with the complainer, you have the following options:
- Suggest discussing the topic for two minutes. Gather opinions from other participants and continue after a few minutes.
- Ask the complainer questions like: “What ideas do you have for dealing with So-and-so?” “Would you like the group to suggest ways to deal with So-and-so?” “Have you honestly talked to So-and-so about how you feel about the matter?”
- Help the participant gain a different perspective. Ask them: “You’ve told us how bad the others are with So-and-so. You’re surely a fair person. Can you find anything good about them? Anything?” If they reluctantly admit a fact, ask them: “Can you think of anything else?” Try to get two or three positive statements from them and the rest of the group. Use a “T-column” to outline the positive and negative aspects and help them see things from different angles.
- Give the complainer a sense of superiority by admitting early on: “Yes, there may be a problem with So-and-so. We’re here to find solutions. If you, the rest of the group, and I think about ways to deal with this situation, we’ve really made progress today. How can we achieve that?”
- Create a flipchart with the heading “Problems we can’t solve here.” Ask the complainer to write the topic on a sticky note and stick it on the flipchart. Offer to pass the issue on to the appropriate person or department.
The Quiet Participant
The Quiet one is reserved, timid, and doesn’t speak much. Here are some suggestions on how to engage him:
- Let participants work in small groups of four to six people each, and introduce a rotation system for group leadership.
- Talk to the quiet participant during the break. This boosts their self-confidence and may encourage them to participate more.
- Use the chain or relay method, which involves asking the same question to multiple participants in succession.
- Make encouraging statements like, “You’ve done a lot of work with So-and-so. Can we benefit from your experiences?”
- Have participants work in pairs. The subsequent report should be divided into two parts, with each partner taking one part.
The Hostile Participant
The Hostile one targets a vulnerable victim. Of course, the trainer is also a suitable target for his attacks. He asks unpleasant questions to embarrass or annoy the respondent. What can you do in this case?
- Stay calm and rephrase the question using less aggressive, more objective terms.
- “Clearly, this is a sensitive issue for you. Would you like to hear the group’s opinion on it?” Or take it lightly. Smile and say, “Hans, it would be good if you could tell us how you really feel about it.”
- Physically approach them. Walk toward the hostile participant while speaking, but keep your gaze on others. By encroaching on their “territory,” you can reduce their resistance.
