You have the choice!
In our everyday life, we are often confronted with situations in which we would like to simply toss the towel and emigrate to a faraway place. Whether it’s because of the work environment with stressful colleagues or the personal environment, with obligations that crush us or outgrow us. But unfortunately, it is not always so easy. Or is it? In our environment, we can’t always like everything – that’s clear. But if we see ourselves only as victims of our circumstances, nothing can change. We have the freedom to decide how we want to deal with things we don’t like. There are three proven options here that you can play through to move forward.
An example that applies to many of us: From an early age, we learn to cope with unloved circumstances and to accept them, because life is not a dream world. Parents say, “Go to school and then study so that you can make something of yourself and have a career.” We go through life in order to meet our own expectations or the expectations of others. But what if after all these years you have your career, family and little house, but you are not satisfied with the situation? Now you’ve reached the point where you were told you’d be happy, but the opposite is true. You suddenly realize that you never asked yourself what YOU actually want. What can you do now?
Option 1: Change it! Change your environment
Think about what you can do to change your current environment. For example, you can try to talk to your supervisor about your job. Maybe possible adjustments to make or changes which are more motivating for you to go back to work and make your environment fit your needs. This could be, for example, that you can’t work efficiently in an office with several people and don’t get to work on your tasks. You need to be able to answer the following three questions:
WHAT specifically do I want to change? I want to be able to work focused on a quiet place for at least a few hours.
HOW can I change this? Maybe my company offers rooms for focused work, or I just suggest it. I can also go to the office a little earlier, when there aren’t as many colleagues around yet, and take advantage of the morning hour.
WHEN are you implementing these options? Starting next week, I’ll start at 7am every morning and I’ll schedule a meeting with my department manager to suggest a space to focus for about 1-2 hours.
My tip: Reflect promptly on what’s working and what’s not. Maybe nothing is changing despite your efforts. If you realize for yourself “it can’t continue like this”, you should look into the second option.
Option 2: Leave it! Leave your environment
If you have tried everything, but it just doesn’t get better, then there is another solution: Leave it! Maybe you have already thought about it several times. But in the middle of your life, it’s too late to make a change. Like changing a job that doesn’t make you happy. Or even move to another city or start your own small business that you’ve always dreamed of. But what if you simply dare to take this exact step out of the unloved situation according to the motto “Go for it”?
What could be possible in this case? It will take a lot of courage, but it will open up new possibilities for you. It is important that you take the initiative and consciously decide: Do I want to continue to stay in this situation under these circumstances – yes or no? If you answer “yes” to this question, you have another option.
Option 3: Love it! Accept it as it is
In this case, you make a choice to accept disturbing circumstances in your environment and indirectly influence your environment. As a result, however, you should stop talking negatively about it and make the best of it to make peace with the situation. Have a positive approach to your daily work. With a positive mindset nothing can stop you from always seeing the best in every day.
Even if it is only the good coffee on some days. Your motto then is “I don’t care – I love it!” You accept the way it is and learn to love it. For one thing, you change your evaluation – because you’ve decided, “It doesn’t bother me so much that I want to leave the situation, so other needs might be important.” For the other thing, at the same time, there may be opportunities to take suggestions from your environment and use them specifically to change your behavior.
You can play out these three options with any unpleasant situation in your life. The effect is that you make aware decisions and use your room for improvement. In this way, you go from being a victim of your circumstances to shaping your life.
Trainer-Tip:
This method is also highly suitable for use in resilience or self-leadership training. You can incorporate it as an exercise in your training.
